Almost all Americans have sex before marriage, and nearly half of 15- to 19-year-old Americans have had sex at least once.

As a largely Christian population facing these facts from numerous national studies, what do Belmont students have to say about sex before marriage?

More than you might think.

“Arbitrary sex before marriage I don’t too much care for, but if you’re in a monogamous relationship with someone you care about, then it’s all right,” junior Daniell Leipply said.  

Leipply has been in a serious relationship for one year with a fellow Belmont student.

“I used to think the other way, but then I realized it’s a changing world,” he said. “A lot of people today are having sex, and as long as they’re monogamous and not orgy-addicted polygamists, it’s fine.”

 Is Leipply’s approval of premarital sex in a monogamous relationship an unusual opinion at Belmont, a vocally Christian university? Not at all, even among students who personally plan to save sex for marriage.

“It’s fine as long as you feel that sort of connection toward a person,” agreed sophomore John Roden. “All a wedding is is saying that you love somebody in front of a bunch of people and whatever religious deity you believe in. You’ve decided a long time before then that you really love somebody.”

According to Belmont’s mission and values statement, “students encounter Christian values relevant to personal growth and spiritual maturity and are expected to commit themselves to high moral standards.” It’s no surprise, then, that many Belmont students say they are choosing to save sex for marriage.  

 “It makes marriage more special if you save sex for it,” sophomore Erin Ayers said.  “It just makes the marriage more sacred.”

Dr. Todd Lake, vice president for spiritual development, defends the Christian perspective on saving sex for marriage.

 “When [Christ] condemns sexual sin, he says it’s because you’re looking at someone with the ultimate goal of getting them in bed,” Lake said. “There is a world of difference between being in a dating relationship and making a lifelong commitment to your partner.”

Other students fear the emotional issues and potential regret that may result from engaging in premarital sex.

“Anything good you might think will come out of it in the short term is going to be complicated by longer term problems,” freshman Jonathan Cullifer said. “There’s always the emotional issues that go with it.”

According to a study featured in “Sexual Regret in College Students,” a 2005 article from Archives of Sexual Behavior, a sociology journal, many college students experience regret following sexual activity, with 38 percent of the sample saying their sexual decisions conflicted with their personal morals and values.  

The same study showed 54 percent of women and 16 percent of men who had consensual sex said they should have waited longer, whereas only 11 percent of men and 1 percent of women regretted waiting as long as they did.  

Conversely, some college students who resist an overwhelming urge to have sex within the context of a committed relationship may face equally serious issues of regret from choosing to abstain from sex.      

Freshman Allora McCullough planned to save sex for marriage, until she became engaged and realized she might regret that decision. She said she’s aware the relationship could end, but she has accepted her decision to engage in a monogamous, sexual relationship.

 “I always wanted to save myself for marriage,” she said.  “It didn’t end up that way [but] he’s the first and last person I’ll ever have that experience with in my life.”

Junior Alaina Reagan warned of the problems that might result from refraining from sex until marriage.

“If you haven’t had any experience before you get married, and your experience is bad in the beginning, you think it’s going to be a big problem for you,” she said.

Despite the argument that saving sex for marriage may cause problems in relationships, couples who abstain until marriage have lower divorce rates.

“It just happens not to be the case that it is helpful to have sex prior to marriage in order to establish a solid marriage,” Lake said. “In fact, statistics show absolutely conclusively that people who have sex with their future marriage partner before marriage are more likely to be divorced than those who don’t.”

Lake attributes this phenomenon to the idea that couples that have sex before marriage often have a difficult time adjusting to the idea of genuine commitment.

“If you don’t view sex as a total lifelong commitment, once you’re married, it’s kind of hard to flip the switch,” he said. “If you’ve established prior to marriage that sex is not so much tied to commitment as it is tied to passion, what if you start feeling passionate toward someone who isn’t your spouse?”

Some Belmont students, however, have achieved what they believe is a personal reconciliation between their sexual activity and their Christian beliefs.

McCullough is one of these students.

“That’s a big thing: the whole reconciliation with yourself and with God and rationalizing your decisions,” she said.  “I think that today’s concept of marriage has changed from what God originally intended it to be.”

The only truly consistent opinion among Belmont students, however, is the commitment to remain non-judgmental of other students’ decisions, no matter what their personal beliefs on sex.

Sophomore Kyle Paxton is opposed to premarital sex for religious reasons, but refuses to judge others.  

“I guess I would say, ‘Wait,’ but at the same time I wouldn’t want to judge [those who have sex before marriage] or condemn them,” he said.

From a Christian perspective, Lake supports this non-judgmental outlook as one of the most important traits a Christian can possess.

“Jesus said ‘Judge not that you not be judged,’” he said.  “Not being judgmental is profoundly Christian.”

Whether a student is sexually active, staunchly opposed to sex before marriage or somewhere in between, dealing with sexual temptations is an issue students face no matter what their views are.  

“I think that when you’re away from home you’re away from your comfort zone, and there are a lot of temptations you’re going to face, especially without parents around,” freshman Will Young said.

Most Belmont students seem to agree that the best way to avoid unwanted sexual temptation and pressure is to surround themselves with people who will respect their views.

“You just have to be able to stand up and say no,” sophomore Mike Gaylord said.  “Real friends shouldn’t pressure you to do things like that.”